ive finally managed to use my neighbour's net again. i realli hope it wud be soon before we can pay our internet services and get a brand new comp. its freakin frustratin to have such a slow computer and having to hacked in all the time.

anyways,im sick. sick of school. sick of my family. and sick physically. wateva it is,im basically sick!! i keep feeling extremely giddy lately. it must be the weather or something.during lessons,i would suddenly feel as if im about to land on the floor anytime. its pissing me off. i wonder wat it could be. oh yah,i keep falling ill lately. if its not some small diarrhoea,it would be the flu bug. that is the most annoying thing. its not those thick phlegm,but those wet like water kind. dripping continuously. im get cough once in a while...wateva it is,im hating it.

secondly,im sick of school. i just cant study no more. its not that i totally dun want,but im just following wit the motion here. i go school,do wateva crap ppl do in skl,n i heads home for juz chilling. i dun bother to do my work cuz im hating it. my heart has basically switched off itself.i noe ppl will always babble about the future being brighter with a proper education.but the prob is,yes i do at least wanna get a descent A level cert but if its gd enuf,then i'll have to torture myself with continuation of the stupid process in having to study again n again.i cant stand it anymore. im tired of it. its pure torture olrite. its jz not me

thirdy,ive been thinking of droppin my cca. i noe its irresponsible of me to drop my cca just like tt.but i dun eva wanna be so committed and get myself in a dirty mess with my parents. cuz truthfully,the liking is there,but its time consuming. maybe im not so use with having cca's many days of the week,so i regard it as a time consuming activity.but im afraid to hurt my fellow cca mates.we'll c about it then la aite..

forthly,im tired of my dad. he's not been talking with me for almost a week i think. dun noe wats his problem tho. he kept cursing me and purposely talking about me wit my mum to let me hear. wat a childish asshole huh? one time,i shout a vulgarity to my sis,and he keep scolding me why i gotta use such language...i mean like...come on!! i learn it from u,dad!!i so wanna move out. at this age,i cant take it anymore. no freedom. can u imagine..an eighteen year old gotta reach home by 7pm. thats pathetic lah. if im in primary school,its ok i guess. but at my age,i even need to ask permission etc. fuck them lah. hate all tis lame ass rules.

in short,i wanna drop wateva im doing n lead a life my way.i noe tts life..yadda yadda yadda! but heck,i wish i could live on my own n work for my own money without anyone interfering my life. i look up to my bro. i can see his happy eversince he stays at his camp. he at least have the priviledge to club,go out anytime,not much rules,chill at nite as anyway he wishes. i want that life. beeing cooped up is so sucky. if my parents is understanding,its orite..but tis is juz too traditional lah. they're such an extremist! help me!!